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Gazette:Jokes on translation

English's Primacy

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Jokes


Un appel du centre André Malraux de Sarajevo


Translation gems english to french

Olympic Games - Translation, please

One intriguing and occasionally hilarious aspect of covering the Olympics in a foreign country is the presence of interpreters, many of whom, especially in China, seem under orders to avoid controversial questions and answers. [[Gazette:Jokes:Olympic Games - Translation, please|/...

lost in a Chinese puzzle

The process of translation at Olympic press conferences can be more complicated than university-level algebra and there was a magic moment following Cuba's 7-6 win over Canada in baseball on Thursday. /...


Wet turban needless wash


Brit lost in American English translation

Harvey Burgess

I am a Brit in Tucson, and I am learning American English. I decided to do so after various encounters, including one in an Albertson's supermarket.


Me: Hi. Could you tell me where the trolleys are?

Employee: Excuse me?

Could you tell me where I can find a trolley?

Employee: Excuse me, sir. I'm not getting you.

You know, the things on wheels that we put our food in.

Employee: Oh, gotcha. You mean the carts.

Yes, exactly, the carts.

Employee: You can find them at 19 and the meat counter.

I beg your pardon? /...




The Saga of Management Review of Writing Style

QUESTION: How many feet do mice have?

Original reply: Mice have four feet.

Management Comment: Elaborate!

Revision 1: Mice have five appendages, and four of them are feet.

Comment: No discussion of fifth appendage!

Revision 2: Mice have five appendages; four of them are feet and one is a tail.

Comment: What? Feet with no legs?

Revision 3: Mice have four legs, four feet and one tail per unit-mouse.

Comment: Confusing -- is that a total of 9 appendages?

Revision 4: Mice have four leg-foot assemblies and one tail assembly per body.

Comment: Does not fully discuss the issue!

Revision 5: Each mouse comes equipped with four legs and a tail. Each leg is equipped with a foot at the end opposite the body; the tail is not equipped with a foot.

Comment: Descriptive? Yes. Forceful? NO!

Revision 6: Allotment appendages for mice will be: Four leg-foot assemblies, one tail. Deviation from this policy is not permitted as it would constitute misapportionment of scarce appendage assets.

Comment: Too authoritative; stifles creativity!

Revision 7: Mice have four feet; each foot is attached to a small leg joined integrally with the overall mouse structural sub-system. Also attached to the mouse sub-system is a thin tail, non-functional and ornamental in nature.

Comment: Too verbose/scientific. Answer the question!


FINAL REVISION APPROVED BY MANAGEMENT: Mice have four feet.

source John


3 men (a Belgian, a German and a French)...

... have an audition for a new job in England. The interviewer tells them: "OK, you'll have to formulate a sentence with the 3 words: green, pink and yellow."

First, the Belgian says: "I wake up in the morning, I eat a yellow banana, a green pepper and in the evening I watch the Pink Panther on TV".

Then, the German: "I wake up in the morning, I see the yellow sun, the green grass and I think to myself: I hope it will be a pink day".

And the French : "I wake up in ze morningk, I hear ze phone : green... green... green... pink up ze phone and I say "Yellow?"...

Submitted by Katja - Paris

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